Reflection: Five Months of Writing About Three Years
Where do I go from here? One more placeholder essay and invitation
Thank you. Whether you received this as an email or clicked through from social media, thank you. You are reading what I am writing! And yes, I will continue writing. A special mahalo to the handful of people who said over the past week “please keep going.” I am getting closer to understanding what comes next.
I can view statistics for my posts from the writer dashboard on the Substack app, so I know that there were 133 views of my most recent essay, with a 67% open rate from the 70 people who had it delivered by email as “subscribers” and the rest coming from social media. One person shared. Not bad, considering that after publishing my first post last Thanksgiving I ended up with a whopping 7 subscriptions.
The post that generated the most subscriptions and readers was the one about The Alchemist. I guess I should not be surprised at all that a proportionally very small percentage of people of all the millions of fans of the book would be interested in my small part in its success. Writing about famous people does sometimes seem more interesting than writing about myself. I spend enough time in my head completely lost in telling myself stories about myself when I’m wanting not to think at all.
I decided to skip the Waimea farmer’s markets on this gorgeous sunny Saturday morning and sit on my lanai, reading my five month opus through from start to finish in hopes that would tell me where it wanted to go next. In case you are interested in doing the same, I copied the installments in order with links below (this is also in the email you get if you enter your email address to “subscribe.”)
Thanksgiving ** (essay)
What Happened Before What Happens Happens**
I Was Not on Pam Am Flight 103 **
What Happened Before Tibet Happened **
More of What Happened Before Tibet Happens
June 1992 - From Lhasa to Sāo Paulo **
Searching for Answers in Some of the Wrong Places
Carman Moore - Big Brother, Best Man **
My Love Affair with Brazil Continues
On Invisibility, Social Media, and Writing my Memoir (essay)
Velvalee and the Pool of Prayers **
Holding the Frequency with Velvalee **
Amazon Week V - New York City 1994
Amazon Week 1995: Marina Silva **
1994 Ends With a Leap of Faith **
Reflection: From Makaliʻi to Welo
What did I discover in re-reading?
I found that the first few posts perfectly previewed many of the characters, events and themes of later posts. I wrote about how early my fascination with other cultures and other ways of being and thinking began, and about how the world of intuition and signs and omens and non-linear ways of making meaning was as much a part of me from an early age as my precocious capacity for manipulating words and numbers in the way that produces high test scores. Kind of chicken skin to see it play out in my 30s as it did.
I can’t imagine reading the later posts without having that background, but readers did jump in later and still got something out of it. I’ll have to stay conscious of that balance between continuity and self-contained novelty as I continue writing.
If nothing else, I concluded I should forget about dating apps (not that I am on any, but every few months I think I should be). I should just make this memoir mandatory reading for anyone who might consider becoming my lover - or even just my close friend. I have cultivated many friendships over the decades, deeply treasured friends to whom this memoir has brought me closer. And we knew one another from a point in time forward, with maybe a tale told here and there giving a flash of the past. How different would it be starting off every new friendship or romance by saying “This is who I am. Are you brave enough to tell me who you are? Yes? Really? Ok then! Ready to ride with me?”
In case you were wondering, his name is Kūkūilama and yes, we belong to each other. This photo is of our first ride.
In truth, I’d like my writing to reach a large audience who is meeting me for the first time. I admit it, I have ambitions! It is a great discipline and inspiration to imagine what to write for strangers who become a community of readers as a result. What might we co-create? Please feel free to forward and share this link to your friends so we can saddle up together. Let me know (comment if you are brave) when you catch up on earlier posts and have some favorites or feedback. I’ll be back in a week!
I already wrote another and committed to keep going!
Hey Beth...so does this mean you're taking a break from writing blogs? Or...?